May 12, 2011

• I had another dream last night.

  This big, older guy was driving a huge red pickup truck, similar to the one in Twilight... except it was different because the driver's part had no roof, like a convertible. For some odd reason, he let this tiny elementary school girl drive the truck. It was snowing and hazardous outside, but it seemed like she was driving OK... for the first few seconds, and then she smashed into a parked car. They got off the truck and went somewhere down the road. I decided to help by driving the truck to them. Along the way, I felt like I had to pick up a bunch of people and give a bunch of people rides home. Grace was the first person I came across. She ignored my outstretched hand and climbed onto the back of the pickup truck herself. I remember we were talking a little bit, about rather ordinary things. I remember her commenting something about friendships, and how there are some people she's known for over seven years that she's not close friends with. I replied with something about the time of knowing someone and also chemistry being possibly another factor, but in my mind I was thinking something else. Did she say that as a warning, not to expect anything? Anyways, it's hard enough to take things so slowly... I think if we were not any closer at all a year or seven years from now, I should be severely disappointed. We went on and talked about something else. I think I mentioned how when talking with others, I used to be more vocal with sharing my thoughts and values about various things like relationships, theology, life, etc. but now I instead try and get the other person to share. Anyways we went along for a while more, and picked up a bunch more people before eventually picking up the owner of the pick up truck and that elementary school girl. I helped some of the passengers up and thought, I hope she didn't get the wrong suspicion when I offered her a hand earlier... I always offer people a helping hand. The pickup truck was so packed that some of the passengers had to sit up front. Grace sat next to me, because I needed her to navigate. A big, heavy kid sat in on my lap or something, and it was hard to see around him and drive, and I remember thinking this sucks... and it's dangerous. It would make much more sense to have him switch places with a girl, but I guess that would be too easily misjudged... oh well. It was still snowy and hazardous outside, and I could barely see my right side because of the big kid, and I was feeling very anxious as Grace directed me towards the highway...

  ...and then I woke up.

  It was kind of a cruel dream in that it was a reasonably realistic projection of what my relationship with Grace might be like today... if... if...
  ....Well. One day, I shall see her again outside of dreams. 

  • 5:24 pm
  • 1 Comment