February 6, 2012

• Prayer of the damned

  You see my heart torn with anguish, broken with disappointment, enslaved by idolatry, and giving in to hatred. You know I know the truth that I am helpless to do anything- so I turn to you in desperation, in prayer; and yet you do nothing. And you call yourself a good God? Where is this love that you boast of? Because right now, I don't see it. And all I've been praying for lately is just to know it. But all I've known lately is disappointment. Disappointment in the people who I thought were my friends, when it turns out they don't care about me at all. Disappointment in myself, in the person I've become. Disappointment in you... for not answering my prayers, for not catchign me when I fall, for not giving me the faith I need to know and be moved by your love. Is my heart too hard, too hurt, too broken, to be moved by you? Or do you just not care about me enough to reach out to me? So which is it? Are you a lier or is my sin just beyond the power of your love? I've had it with you. I'm going to run as hard and fast as I can in the other direction. Catch me if you can.
  

  • 12:42 am
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