July 1, 2011

  • The past few days I've been reading an epic fantasy comic series called Bone by Jeff Smith. I came across the series when I was in junior high and read the first few books then and completely fell in love with the story. I never finished the series back then though, because it wasn't all out yet. So reading it now fills me with a sense of sentimental nostalgia for a far away world full of friendship and adventure. Even now, it's so natural to completely immerse myself in the story and escape to a fantastical world full of wonder. I don't know why, but I've always been drawn to stories of a greater purpose, exciting adventures, and the bonds that form in the process. Especially when things get hard or I'm struggling with something difficult, it's especially enticing to just escape vicariously to one of these stories. And things have been really, REALLY hard lately.
    My immediate response after Ada's visit was to pray. Actually, nothing jump-starts my prayer life like being in anguish. For the first time, I also tried to bury myself in my schoolwork as well as working out and basketball. That actually worked surprisingly well for a while. Still, there were those moments where my full attention is not diverted to studying or basketball, or I'm not actually in the process of praying for wisdom and strength. In those moments, which usually occur at times like when I rest between basketball games or before I fall asleep at night, the thoughts that I've been pushing out of my mind come rushing forth like the forces of darkness descending upon helpless prey. Eventually, I tire of keeping my mind of things, and I grow weary of forcing a smile and making small talk and making sure I seem like I'm OK, just so I don't have to burden anyone. The temptation to escape my troubles through a story where good is sure to triumph over evil and friendships are bound to strengthen through hardships becomes too enticing. But I've just finished the Bone series, and as much as I treasured the story and try to hold on to the adventure and the characters, the story has come to a close. So now I need another plan. *sigh* Maybe I can teach myself to be like one of those people that buries themselves in their work; I've always envied such a productive and beneficial way to cope.