I can already tell this post is going to be as ADD as my study habits.

It's too hot lately. The ventilation system in the RC is in the process of switching over from heating to AC, so in the mean time, I just have to sit here and take it. I weant over to UIC to study yesterday. To get away from the heat. To get away from my feelings of being left out... Anyway. I think I'm a very sentimental and nostelgic person. UIC brings back a lot of memories. Walking around campus, people still call out my name and recognize me. In a school of 30,000 students, I still have presence here... It's comforting, like home in a sense. Anyway, UIC was on break, so the campus was nearly deserted. I snuck into one of the newly renovated buildings and made myself at home. It was disappointing though; even though there was AC, it was not on high enough and it was still kind of warm.

I had this entire room to myself!

I first started studying at UIC again last weekend, with Sophia. She showed me some of the new renovations UIC has made

UIC renovated a dingy old part of the library that I was used to into this area they call the Idea Room

It's pretty much a pimped out study pad

Unfortunatly the library was closing just as we got there, so we had to relocate. That's when I discovered one of the newly renovated lecture halls. Sophia and I took over the classroom. It was pretty sweet... as you can see, I hooked up my laptop to their projector and was flying through Physio lectures

On a completely random note, I've also discovered an Oberweis near the library in Schaumburg. It's actually a really awesome studying environment. I love the atmosphere- it's brightly lit, they have WiFi, outlets, and they play pop/rock music reminescent of my high school days. They also have delicious treats like this....

Unfortunately, they do not seem to have any Oberwies in the city. Ah... maybe that's a good thing; I don't want to go too crazy on their deserts

I suppose it’s time to write my annual obligatory birthday blog. This year’s birthday gave me a very realistic snapshot of my life. What I mean is, lately I’ve been so down and discouraged that I’ve had a very negative view on life and the people in my life. But I realize that’s because I’ve made such a big deal focusing on a couple of people that I’ve missed all the good that’s around.

My family celebrated my birthday with me a week in advance, during my quarter break. My sister and her boyfriend flew in fromCaliso that we could all eat lunch together. That same day, Caitlin took a two hour train ride to hang out with me and give me my birthday present. Friday morning Andy rushed over between classes to give me my present and to catch up a bit. Friday night, Sophia and Loren called to wish me happy birthday, and between the two of them, I spent a good three hours talking on the phone. Saturday morning Jon wished me happy birthday (he didn’t forget after all) and rushed over via train and taxi to spend a little bit of time together. I went ice skating hoping to see Jessica there but I guess she decided not to go. I probably wouldn’t have been as relaxed or enjoyed myself as much if she did anyway. David came up from the suburbs to join me in ice skating. Afterwards, he took me to The Original Pancake House near ICO to make good on his promise from my birthday last year: after him and Andy took me out to a ridiculously expensive sushi dinner last year, David jokingly said all I would get for my birthday this year was one pancake. He generously decided to expand his offer to as many pancakes as I want, and then to whatever I wanted. So… I went crazy in the pancake house, which turned out to be a pretty decent diner, not some shotty IHOP like I expected, and ate about $50 worth of breakfast food.  For the rest of the evening, I just waited to hear back from Jessica and Aundrea, who went out to dinner with their group of friends, but invited me to join everyone at the bars later. While waiting, I finally got to Skype withAda, who had wished me happy birthday earlier. Jin offered to hang out too, but I declined, since I didn’t know when I’d be meeting up with Aundrea and Jessica. Instead, I invited him and David to come out with me. David waited around with me for the rest of the night, but when I finally heard back, it was too late for him to go out and still be able to make the last train back home, so he headed out. Even the commute to the bar was enjoyable because it gave Jin and I a chance just to talk and catch up in the taxi. When we finally got there, Jin met some of the people from ICO, and got birthday shots for me, Aundrea, and himself. He stayed for a bit then headed out because he had an exam. The next morning, that is, today, I somehow managed to wake up and get ready on time to have breakfast with Tia at Hashbrowns by UIC. After she took me out for my birthday breakfast, we went back to her place and just talked and relaxed for a few hours.

Each of the closest friends whom I’ve known for years individually made an effort to pursue me and spend time with me for my birthday. They all made sacrifices of time and/or money for my sake, they all listened to me share and cared about how I’ve been, and they all spoke to me honestly and with love and sincerity. Yet, lately, I’ve been feeling miserable and rejected. I’ve felt that way for way too long now, months on end, and as time goes on, it chips away at my strength, hope, and positivity. The juxtaposition of events around my birthday has made it clear to me that I’m putting too much of an emphasis on a couple of people who can’t see past my awkwardness, mistakes, and quirks. I know that instead, I should be showing more appreciation for the friends who have always been there for me.