It seems like it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I’ve been meaning to, but never did seem to find the time. Anyways, I guess I’ll post one super entry to brief through what I’ve been up to the past couple weeks or so.

I’ll start from last Thursday, November 6, 2008. I remember having an amusing conversation with Jin while we were walking to a friends’ place to study.

Jin: “Hey, so are you still thinking of going to Honor’s Ball?”
Me: “Yeah… I’m actually thinking of asking [censored].”
Jin: “WHAT?!? No way!! Dude, I was thinking of asking her!! Oh my gosh, I can not believe this!”
Me: “What?? Hey, I saw her first! I get to ask her!”
Jin: “Fine, rock-paper-scissors to see who gets her!”
Me: “What, no way! I call dibs!”
Jin: “What? You can’t call dibs! …argh, fine, fine, you can ask her.”

Hahaa, so girls have it easy. All they have to do is wait around to be asked, then complain about having to spend the last few hours getting ready. Guys are the ones who have to do the long-term planning and asking. And sometimes, when there’s conflict, it may even require winning a round of rock-paper-scissors.

The next day was Friday, November 7, 2008. Fridays are my play days where I just have fun. Well, Friday nights anyways; Friday mornings usually involve 8AM chem labs, with a consequent Friday afternoon nap. This particular Friday evening, me, Jin, Rachel, Sarah, Elena, and Sherry dressed up to go grab dinner downtown at Jake’s. Sherry had to leave early and Rachel left after dinner, but the rest of us met up with Haley, Jessica, and Sunmi from ISAC then went to Friday night live. I honestly just wanted to go there to smuggle more bottles water and water bottles, but it was the saddest, lamest Friday night live ever. It was confined to just the inner circle, and they had no free pizza, free water, photo booth, or really anything to do at all. When the ISAC girls got tired, I drove them back to ISAC then returned to join Jin and Sarah at her place in MRH. We ended up watching the movie 21 until late into the night. We were so tired and sleepy, and the walk outside was long and cold… so I joined Jin in taking over Sarah’s bed (after winning it for us in a game of rock-paper-scissors). In the end, me and Jin shared Sarah’s bed and she preferred to sleep on the floor than on her couch.

Sherriberry and I

The girls (Rachel was late)

Everyone!

This is our "band" shot

cozy

Sherry is inquisitive

Rachel and I

Roomates.

Better looking roomates.

We walk in all dressed up and sophisticated looking, and Jin whines to the waitress to give us fake firemen's hats and weivers   -_-'

...no words

girls... are strange

Jessica and Sunnmi

Haley!! ('s commet)

Jessica enjoying Jin's "Whip Cream Sandwitch"

Haley passed out on Jin's floor

On Saturday, November 8, 2008 I had to wake up bright and early at 10AM for H-Games, kind of a mini-olympics fun-and-games type of event hosted by HMCC (Harvest Missions Community Church). I really had so much fun at the event! Not just Sherry and Bonnie, but everyone at the church is very nice, friendly, warm, and welcoming. I didn’t expect it, but I think I’m getting pulled into the church (in a good way). At H-Games I discovered that I make an excellent anchor for tug-of-war, and won us the championship trophy and free dinner for the smallgroup. Yay! We chilled at Sandy’s super sweet apartment at the Presidential Towers for pizza dinner and mafia afterwards.

Nothing much happened on Sunday, November 9, 2008 because I ended up just sleeping in. Good thing Sunday Service for HMCC doesn’t start till 5PM! Brilliant. Me and Jin went and had a blessed time. So There I was during worship, doin’ my thing and praising my God, when all of a sudden I hear this amazing singing voice next to me. I look over and I see this girl singing her heart out to God, and I’m like, wow. Anyways it turns out I’d met her before- Hannah- when Elizabeth brought her to our AAIV smallgroup. After church, Pastor Jimmy and Pastor Peter opened up their place for everyone to hang out, eat dinner, and chill. I had a good time fellowshipping with everyone and learning more about the history of para-churches and the relationship that HMCC hopes to establish with the para-churches at UIC. Afterwards, me and Jin went to the dorms to have a laundry party with Sherry. Inhae and Alyson also joined us, although they didn’t have laundry to do. Before the end of the night, I got a chance to talk to Alyson, which I’ve felt convicted to do for a while.

After I got out of class on Monday, November 10, 2008, I met up with Hannah and Sarah to “study” and hang out at my place before smallgroup. Me and Jin had volunteered to take care of dinner for smallgroup. We ended up making spaghetti, which I think didn’t turn out so bad… Smallgroup was fun and enlightening as usual. Some of the members asked questions pertaining to justification, sanctification, and glorification. I would love to find somebody with a passion for theology with whom I can discuss things with. But I guess for now, I have Doza, James, and Curtis for that. After smallgroup, Sydney dropped me, Hannah, and Jin off at west campus. We had planned to meet up with some guys from HMCC who said they wanted to ball, but they didn’t show up. Jin ended up playing pick up games, and I spent the next few hours giving Hannah private basketball lessons. It was lots of fun spending time with her, and I discovered that I have a passion (and according to Hannah, a talent) for spending time with people and teaching them things.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 was a big day for me- I got my hair cut. So I was walking down South Campus and decided to swing by Sean Patrick’s to see how much their hair cuts were.
The guy was like, “For a men’s cut? $40. But there’s a 25% student discount, if you’re a student, so it would be $30.”
I’m like, “uh… I… uh… I think I left my ICard in my apartment. Can I come back another time?”
That has got to be like the most expensive hair cuts I’ve heard of. So anyways, I kept walking and went straight to Great Clips. I put my name down on the wait list, and as I waited, I started to think: I’ve had pretty bad experiences with Great Clips in the past; my hair never comes out the way I want it to… It’s winter now, so hair grows slower; meaning if I were to get an expensive haircut, now would be the best time to get my money’s worth. After debating myself for a while, I gave in and went back to Sean Patrick’s to get my hair cut (the guy accepted my u-pass for the discount). Is it vanity to want to look nice?    >.<’

I don’t remember much about Wednesday, November 12, 2008 other than it was a dreary gray day. I wasted most of the day trying to get a hold of someone from Sean Patrick’s but ended up driving across the city to Salon Slice to get something done. In the evening, I went over to Sarah’s with Jin to visit her and Elena. I had a good time catching up with Elena. Her and Sarah are both very hang-out-able people.
While there, I talked for a while on the phone with Hannah, who seemed sad. We talked for a while but my phone batteries were almost dead, so I up and left to and drove over to west side while staying on the phone with her. When I got there around 12AM, we went for a walk, then for a drive. I drove around randomly and we talked until I finally settled upon some parking meters near the beach. We waited out the rain, then ran across the Lake Shore Drive highway, eliciting many honks and angry looks while dodging cars. Fun times… the stuff that memories are made of. We talked a bit more at the beach then wrote letters to God in the sand. Perhaps I am a bit stubborn about not wearing jackets in the winter time, because around 3AM I started to lose feeling in my arms. We decided it would be best to relocate, so we dodged more cars, went back to Serenity (my car), and chilled at the Rock and Roll McDonald’s for a while. One of us had the crazy idea to go the whole 9 yards and just wait to watch the sun rise, so we went back to the beach. By then, it was about 6AM, and LSD was getting a lot more busy and dangerous, and the drivers more pissed. After we crossed LSD frogger style, we discovered that there was an underground tunnel nearby, offering us a safer return route. Hannah was quite the energetic one, because I was getting pretty tired by then. I think she was a bit disappointed because it turned out to not really be a sun rise so much as just a sky going from a gradient of black to dark gray to lighter gray to murky gray. I wasn’t disappointed though, because to me it wasn’t the actual sunrise but the journey there that made it special. Anyways, when we were satisfied that the sky could not reach a lighter shade of gray, we decided to head back and I dropped Hannah back off in the dorms.

I normally have bio lab at 10AM on Thursdays, and Thursday, November 13, 2008 was no exception. I woke up at 10:30AM, and discovered that by some grace of God, I had actually finished my lab report early so I didn’t have to do it last minute (literally). Being the idiot that I was, I went back asleep and didn’t wake up until 11:30AM. At that point, I freaked out a little and ran towards SEL. On my way there, I saw Oliver, my TA. He looked at me and gave me a knowing smile, and said,
“You’re a little late, aren’t you?”
“…Yeah… hey… um… do you think I can turn this in?” I hand him last week’s lab report.
Oliver smiles: “Yeah, sure. Do you want me to go back to the lab? Cuz technically, I guess it’s not supposed to end for a bit longer.”
“No, it’s ok- do you think you can just initial this week’s lab, and I’ll just try to answer the questions?”
Hahaa, he’s such a cool guy, my TA. Wow, God is SO gracious to me and I am so glad that I was able to turn in my lab report and get credit for being at the day’s lab. Whew!
Later that afternoon, I met up with Hannah again and grabbed Elena’s keys to her dorm. Hannah and I went over to Elena’s to pick up some potatoes and random groceries, then we went back to my apartment and met up with Elena and Sarah. Sherry came over also, and later Jin and Jack joined us as well. Originally, I had in mind for us to study, but that… didn’t really happen. I think Hannah and Sarah were the only ones determined enough to get a bit of studying done before we all ate lunner together. I was supposed to cook things with Elena, but somehow it ended up just being Elena and Sherry in the kitchen, and me just chilling waiting for the food to be ready.

me and Hannah, exhausted from "studying"

Sarah looks like an angry bag lady

The food looks delicious! ...Actually, not really... but it tasted delicious and that's what matters!

my compliments to the chiefs

Somehow, every time there's an event, it always just happens that the girls end up cooking and the guys end up playing video games or watching TV... it's like gravity, I guess

After I gave up hope of studying, I drove to the west campus with Hannah, Jin, Sarah and Jack to play basketball. It was a fun time playing at the west campus gym, but it was a very nasty surprise when I came back to Serenity to find a $50 ticket on her (for an expired parking meter). Man, that stings… I thought expired meter tickets were supposed to be less than that too, like $10 or something. I was really bothered by the ticket for a while, but then decided not to be bothered by it anymore. I think it just reminds me to be thankful to God for how much I really have. Anyways, later that night, my lab partner came over because I had invited him to stay over. We ended up talking most of the night, until like 5AM about random things like life, evolution, God, morals, girls (of course), and all that good stuff.

That made it very difficult for us because we both had lab 8AM on Friday, November 14, 2008. I honestly just BSed my way through lab. I think I the middle of it, I left to go to grab a sandwich from Quiznos. I came back and hid behind one of the lab counters, where I munched on my breakfast quietly until I was discovered by my TA. Luckily, he’s a cool guy too and just told me to finish eating it outside. When I came back I took a nap. A long nap. Not only did I sleep through all my classes for the rest of the day, but I also slept through the day itself. When I woke up, the sky was dark already… that’s the most terrible feeling. I was left wondering what to do or how to play, when a text from Johnny reminded me that it was the long awaited Casino Night Friday. Basically, Heather organized this event where she would reserve a lounge and have everyone dress up to come and chill, hang out, watch Casino Royal, eat, and of course, play casino games. There were various card games, most of them money-free, and one table where there was a small maximum cash game of Texas Hold’em. I went in with $5 bucks the first game, but I was too distracted thinking about other people and other things and who to take pictures with, and ended up losing five dollars fast. Normally, I’d quit then, but I really wanted to win back the money to pay for my parking ticket. So, after making my rounds and mingling for a bit, I decided to go back to the table and focus on my game. I was up, and up, and up some more; I think I was around $17, which was the most I ever won from poker (I always play modest amounts). Then, opportunity came. Kong went all-in blind, meaning he didn’t even look at his cards. I think he was just tired and just wanted to get out of there and throw money away or something. Shummy sensed this, so he called him. I look at my hand- pocket Kings. Now, pocket Kings is not what you would call a gamble- it’s an extremely good hand, with over 90% chance of winning if the other guy doesn’t look at his cards. I call, and push Kong and Shummy all-in. We turn our hands- Kong has a 7/10 (garbage). Everyone’s like, “Awww…” because they wanted to cheer for the crazy underdog. Shummy had Ace/10, nothing to worry about unless an Ace came out. I throw down my kings, and everyone gasps. Jonny (the dealer) throws down the flop…. [to be continued…]

Hailurrrrn and Sam

Pat made an amazing dealer

Heather provided all the delicious food 

Gina!

the girls

Here she is, lady luck who organized the whole even, Heather!

Jin said all his winnings will go towards my parking ticket fund... Unfortunately, he got pwned.

Bethanie and Tracy

Me and Mr. Zhu

Gina is so photogentic

Tracy and I

What is Esther doing? Why do girls do that...?

Tony the stud

Outreach team members!

Mina, my former running buddy

Lee, who was practically my landlord last year

She likes to pose

game's really getting heated up...

me and Esther    She's wearing a stunning dress, but you can't tell. Too bad, she never dresses up

Liz looks uncomfortable

Best picture ever. Me and Pat Lok are killin the table with are mad skillz

Jerry looks angry. Did he lose?

Lee made all this delicious food; me and Jin ate most of it

Winnie and George

the party's just get'n started

my sunglasses look SO good on Tony

the crowd gathering to see what happend with Kong's crazy crazy move...

Anyways, to continue my story from earlier: The flop hits, and it’s a 9, J, and 2. Nothing to worry about so far, and the chances of Shummy drawing an Ace is less than ever. The turn reveals a King. Yess!!! Triple Kings!! Meaning, even if Shummy draws an Ace, I’ll still win! Finally, the river, and…

Nooooo!!! I got screwed by the river! Somehow, by some random chance, Kong gets a straight!!! That should have been the hand that paid for my parking ticket… but instead, I walked away, broke as a joke. Oh well. I never gamble more than I’m willing to lose. To me, I had more fun than if I’d spent that $10 on a movie ticket or something. Now parking tickets, that’s money not well spent… *grumble* 

So anyways, that’s how I’ve been so far. I didn’t do much all Saturday, November 15, 2008 other than loaf around my apartment and not study. On Sunday, November 16, 2008 I went to church at HMCC again and hung out at the Pastors’ place with everyone again afterwards. Joanna’s cooking was so delicious. She thought I was just flattering her, but seriously, wow, it was like bites of heaven. Or maybe I’m just deprived of good food since I can’t really cook. A bunch of people left, but Yunsung taught me and Sherry to play this game called Settlers of Cannan. I think I’m addicted now. It’s suuuch a fun game!!! I couldn’t sleep that night because I kept thinking about new strategies. The game has an element of probability to it, and I just love probability. Its so sad, but I actually laid awake that night thinking about the game and doing mental math on the probabilities of rolling dice and such. However, my addiction to games and my love for probability is not as strong as my admiration for a beautiful singing voice. Anthony started playing the guitar, and Henseo, this random Korean fob exchange student girl, started singing. She told me she was in a band, but when I actually heard her sing, wow… I think my heart stopped. She has the cutest and most enchanting singing voice!

Monday, November 17, 2008 found me oversleeping for chemistry discussion again. I ditched the rest of my classes that day to study, and I think I skipped a little bit of studying to sleep. I woke up in time for my chem exam though. I have done nothing for that class in the past weeks, and I have not started studying for the exam until the day of the exam, and even then, I fell asleep during studying. I definitely don’t deserve to survive this class. Almost panicing and angry at myself, I remember crying out to God with a prayer something along the lines of,
Oh Lord!! Have mercy on your servant! Deal with me according to your abounding grace and unending love!
>.<’
I don’t know. Last night, I had a terrible nightmare that I got like a 50 on the exam.
I came back and studied with Jin and Sis for a bit in Monty lounge. For some reason… I don’t know, I just started becoming really emo. It was like there was something wrong with me… a moment of weakness, an internal struggle. I couldn’t handle it anymore and didn’t want to be seen in that pathetic condition by Sis, so I left to resolve things though prayer and journaling.
Later that night, I was chilling in my room and typing on my computer when I hear a knock on the door. Jin comes in and asks to do accountability because he couldn’t sleep. So I went over to his room and we talked for a while, then prayed, then just chilled and chatted until we fell asleep on his (very bumpy and uncomfortable) futon.

Tonight, Curtis came over for dinner, bringing with him roast duck. It was really good to catch up with him. He’s one of my few older friends who’ve graduated and entered the working world, and I always appreciate his advice and guidance on things to come. It’s also fun to just spend time with a friend. Besides, I think I become wiser and more mature (emotionally) every time I hang out with him. I learned to remember that sometimes, you don’t have to hang out with someone all the time to be close friends, because time becomes very scarce after graduation, and your social circle also shrinks.

Hmm… yup yup. I feel like I should write some sort of epic conclusion, but I’m tired so I’ll just end this post abruptly and awkwardly, because I’m not the articulate writer and story teller that I dream to be.

Fridays have been hell days for me this semester. I have chemistry lab at 8AM. Most of the time I probably procrastenated finishing my lab report, which means I most often ended up staying up late into the middle of the night  on Thursday to finish my lab report, only getting a couple hours of sleep before going to lab. The only difference is that last night, I stayed up to play instead of study. I had a lot of fun karaoking with Haley and Jessica who came to visit me from iA, as well as Johnny and Jin, but it lead to me not having my lab report done on time for the first time this semester. Amazing grace, my T.A. agreed to let me turn it in on Monday.
While in lab, we were using aluminum foil for things. While I decided to make the best of my tuition and stock up on a long sheet of foil.
Today is Free Burrito Day, which means that if you dress up as a burrito, Chipotle gives you a free burrito. That's the most amazing thing ever! Forget Trick-Or-Treat-ing, this is what I'm gonna do every halloween from now on, even after/if I become an optometrist. I joined Jin, Kaleb, Moonis, and a few of their friends to go burrito hunting. Moonis planned it so that we would hit up every Chipotle within a 10 mile radius.

Jin and I making the best of my chemistry lab foil, dressed up as burritos

Near the end of the week, we are always out of food. Fridays I don't
have time for breakfast and there's never any food left at the
appartment. We were both starving so Free Burrito Day came just in time

Me: "If you were a burrito... I'd unwrap you "

Me and Jin wolfed down our first and second burritos so quickly and enthusastically that we got stomach aches.

But nothing kept us from soildering on and stocking up on more free burritos

...not even super long lines

Toome, Kaleb, Mike, Zach, Jin, me, and Moonis. Yay burrito hunting!!

Saturday I went to FUEL (Forming University Emerging Leaders) and then celebrated Doza's birthday with him at Woori Village (Calbee buffet)

FUEL

the UIC AAIV and MEIV chapters

After FUEL, I went back, loafed around for a bit, took a shower, then Dan Lee, KJ, and Doza picked me up to head out to Woori Village to eat. We got there around 6:30 PM.

delicious delicious Korean style spare ribs buffet...

I think I filled up too much on the little appetizer things

I seriously overdid myself... I ate until it hurt, then I waited and ate some more  >.<'

KJ and I

So after stuffing ourselves at Woori Village, we went to get ice cream at McDonald's. After dessert, we went to Assi's, which is kind of like another H-Mart, Korean supermarket.

I was wondering how much these coasted! My friend's roommate got a bottle for free

So at the supermarket, I really had to take a duce... I had eaten so much it was hurting to burp. I ran up this dark looking stairway and walked into a room with a bathroom sign on it. But the inside looked more like a store room...

This is a bathroom!

I thought it was pretty interesting so I took some pictures. I think maybe that area was off limits... oh well.

Paul Kim, feeding Doza

Only on his birthday, Doza gets treated like a king

Outline of what I’ve been up to recently:
Friday after class- Saturday evening: Fall Retreat
Saturday evening and late night: San Soo Gab San
Sunday morning: Sleeping in
Sunday evening: Checking out Harvest church with Jin, then Greek Town with Jin, Sherry, Jack, Alyson, Elizabeth, Bonnie, and Kyle, plus everyone from the church. Afterwards, me, Jin, Alyson, and Sarah studied at MRH

I first started going to church consistently around junior high. I was so lost back then, and I would always get into trouble. By the end of my senior year in high school, my Pastor threatened to excommunicate me from CBCNWS. Not only that, but he would also inform CCUC and every other church not to accept me because I’m a lost cause.
During my freshman year in college, I was a part of the Multi-Ethnic InterVarsity and Ambassadors fellowships. They were two different fellowships with different people, but for me, one thing remained constant: Everyone was nice at first, but because of the mistakes I made and kept on making, because of who I was… they eventually gave up on me. Sure, they would try to tolerate me, but only as much as they needed to. With one exception, no one really wanted to reach out to me or have anything to do with me at all. Over time, their constant rejection led me to reject myself, and the lack of forgiveness spread so deeply that I would not forgive myself.
I realized recently that I don’t really know forgiveness. People have told me that they’ve forgiven me in the past. But to me, they still seemed upset, angry, or bitter. Reconciliation generally just meant that I can now bump into the person without it being awkward, but there was no way they would want to be friends with me again or ever accept me. Back then, that was the only kind of forgiveness the representatives of Christ had ever shown me. Before I knew it, I was limiting my understanding of God’s love and forgiveness to only what I had seen through his church.
Eventually, rejection cut so deep that I found it hard to forgive myself. If something happened and I upset someone, it would grieve me greatly. It can be something as simple as upsetting someone by using their laptop, but seeing that person upset, I would be distressed for days.  I would beat myself up over it because to me, who doesn’t understand forgiveness and can’t imagine being forgiven, it meant the end of any hope for friendship with that person. I’d have fallen from grace with that person. Because I’m far from perfect, every relationship I have or will ever have is marred with sin, and I’m bound to mess up. Do you know what the Bible says Hell is? Hell is the cutting off of all relationships, because you rejected the only relationship that can bring you forgiveness. Hell is the state where you are forever moving infinitely away from everyone. Up until now, every attempt at friendship, love, and reaching out has resulted in living Hell for me.
This weekend, I was shown something different. During fall retreat, one of my friends, whom had been dear to me as a sister, came up to me. I know that I had hurt her badly in the past, but she attempted to reconcile with me. Even though things wouldn’t be perfect instantaneously, she told me she would try her best to restore that relationship. I was so moved by her courage and forgiveness that after worship, I went to talk things out with someone else who has always been both dear to my heart and a thorn in my side. After getting the closure I had waiting for three years for, I felt as if a huge burden was lifted off my chest.
It’s still hard for me to have hope and forgive myself. I hope that God will continue to heal me and show me true forgiveness, so that when I mess up in a friendship I won’t automatically give up hope on myself and the friendship. I hope that by finally experiencing forgiveness, I would be able to have a deeper grasp of God’s gospel message and ultimately draw nearer to Him.

The first four weeks of my chemistry 114 class has all been based off of two chapters: chapter 10 and chapter 11. I didn’t do a single OWL homework for chapter 11 and barely started chapter 10. Chapter 11 I didn’t even study until the day of the exam. As I finished my test, I realized how unfaithful I was to God’s love. I’ve been given the opportunity and privilege to be a student; yet, all I’ve been doing, and all I’ve been caring about, is playing, hanging out, having fun, and meeting new people. As I reflected on my irresponsibility and ungratefulness, I realized that even if I should get an F on the exam, I should not be upset. It would be no less then what I’d earned, and it would definitely be no less reason to praise God in all circumstances. But after I took the test, I didn’t feel too bad. To be honest, I felt like if there was a really sweet curve and I was extremely lucky, I might even score like a B on the exam. Still, I was hesitant to feel that way because the last time I had a good feeling, I ended up failing the test when I got it back.
Today I got my test back. I had to scan the test for a few grading errors but it turns out… I got a 95 without the curve and a perfect score with the curve.
Inconceivable.
I’m not gonna lie; I feel overwhelmingly ecstatic about the grade. Still, I think that behind my incredulous delight, I feel a little bit ashamed. I know that if I had gotten a decent grade, I probably would have said “Praise the Lord! Glory to God!” and all that, but inside part of me would still be thinking chyeahh… I’m awesome! I think I received a perfect score because God is trying to completely humble me with His love, and make it pointedly clear that it wasn’t anything about me but all because of his grace.
I need to study harder and be more disciplined. Not because I have to, but because I don’t want to take advantage of God’s grace. He’s so awesome to me! Anyone want to study together?

Today, Jack accompanied me as we went grocery shopping and buying a cake for Willy’s birthday. Jin and I were supposed to prepare food together, but he was only able to support me financially because he had class until late. When I got out of class around 3, Jack and I went back to my apartment to prepare hot pot for everyone. I don’t think I would have been able to do everything without his help. He just humbly did everything I asked him to. I love the new group of freshmen; I see so much potential in all of them.
I was a little disappointed because a lot of people couldn’t make it to smallgroup (all the CCMC guys had dinner with their youth group leader, and Alyson was sick) but we had lots of guests instead, so that was fun.

Me and Jack's beautiful creation...

our love child, the hotpot

Delicious!!

Our beloved smallgroup leader

lol I didn't notice Martina and Liz in the back when I took this... cute, hahaa

awww... It's awkward because the chicken realized she's eating a chicken ball...

but then the chicken realized it was fish, so Liz fed the chicken a fishball

Grace and Bethanie

doubble LOSER

I like this picture    She took all our food

Smallgroup... fun times.   I have a really good feeling about this year's smallgroup.

After smallgroup, Gina needed a ride to Target, so I drove Jin, Gina, and Sarah over to target. I said we were only gonna be there for 20 minutes, but Gina took sooo long... Freakin girls. lol

While we were waiting.... we got curious in the Holloween section of the store

The costume was labled "Snow Queen"... I somehow got suckered into putting it on. We were saying how the dressed seem to long for an ordinary girl

But I got Jin to wear this as part of the deal

Though I think he secreatly liked it... jk. So I tried zipping his dress from the back from him. So that's how girls feel when chilling with their friends before dances

I really enjoy my biology classes at UIC. I enjoy them because often times taking a closer look at creation leaves me more awestruck with God's glory. It's very ironic though, because biology at UIC is always taught through quite a different lens. Last time I took biology was with Professor Molumby. I had a great time in the class, but the guy always seemed to be mocking Christianity in his lectures. I remember talking to him about it after class once, and we got into a pretty good discussion. (I even wrote about it afterwards on my Xanga: 3/3/06). Professor Muller's biology class this semester is just as enjoyable, and the guy seems to be much more subtle at teaching against creationism. Today, he lightly mentioned how ribisco, a very important plant enzyme, is very inefficient. I recalled learning in apologetics that atheists often attack Christianity by saying that if there was intelligent design, then nature would be perfectly designed. I knew what he was getting at, so for the second time, I talked to him after lecture and had a very interesting discussion. It was a lot more in depth, but it pretty much went like this:

“To put it bluntly, what I’m hearing is that, 'If there is a God, he did a pretty crappy job designing this enzyme,' right?”
“Oh hell yeah.”
“I’m wondering if anyone has attempted to at least theoretically design a molecule or enzyme that would be more efficient, has less affinity for oxygen, and does not produce the photorespiration effect. I guess to put it bluntly, since God did such a crappy job, do you think we could do any better?”

Professor Muller's response in short was that molecular engineering wasn't his area of specialty, and that we also don't have the technology yet because we don't fully understand the interaction of atoms or how that enzyme works. I shared that it was my intuition that even though the enzyme ribisco isn't perfect, it is as perfect as it can be given the natural laws that we are confined within (physics and chemistry). It was interesting that it turns out he admitted that there is still a lot that science doesn't know. I guess when there is a lot of unknown, some will choose to be critical and assume that what they see is flawed, while others will choose to marvel at the beauty of how everything does seem to fall into place.

I want to be a man of faith.
I hope that I will continue to be thankful for the privilege to be a student and study harder (or just study at all -_-' ) for God. I hope that I will not just sit by passively in class lectures and just soak up everything I'm told like a sponge, regurgitate everything back during an exam, only to forget everything a week later. Instead, I hope that I would think critically and always measure everything against the Biblical truths that God has given to us. I am still so little, and I know so little. I hope that I will grow stronger in faith and love, and grow in wisdom as well.
And I hope the same for my brothers and sisters, because I know there are other Christian friends in my class.

Now: 6:30 AM
My mind feels foggy. My eyelids are heavy, and my body is spent to exhaustion, tired, and sleepy. A constant, throbbing pain resounds through my right ankle, while my right quadriceps reap the consequences of being overstrained. My wrinkly fingers glide across my laptop, fueled by my intent to record my thoughts. Outside, dawn is breaking.

~30 hours ago: late yesterday evening
I lead two freshmen from AAIV large group into my apartment. Cindy takes one looks at the sink and exclaims, “That’s disgusting. I would never be able to live here, with a sink like that.”
I don’t blame her. The grotesque heap of soiled metals and organic waste mutate to new levels of repulsiveness daily. We were witnessing the most ghastly collection of dirty dishes to ever disgrace our apartment. I wasn’t worried though; it was Jin’s turn to do the dishes. Looks like this time, I hit the jackpot.

 ~40 minutes ago: ~5:45 AM
Sometimes, you go all-in thinking you hit the jackpot… only to come out the biggest loser. I gathered my courage and faced the revolting mass before me. I had always detested doing dishes, and this one seemed like my worst nightmare incarnate. But there comes a time when a boy becomes a man; at that time, he will have to make decisions. Then, later on, he will have to face the consequences of those decisions as a man. For me, that time was now. I plunged my hands into the nauseating mass, as if half expecting my hands to be eaten up by the rancid jumble. I decided to go straight for the heart of the beast. Deeper and deeper I plunged my hands into mirky and oily waters. The drain had been clogged by various decaying organic matter, and the only way was for me dig through the substance and unclog it by hand. Disgust traveled like electricity up my spine as I groped through the compost and dragged up oily glops of waste. As if it realized it were under attack, the beast burped up a few bubbles and the waters stirred. A nauseating smell choked me as I fought the tendency to think about the source of the smell. I tried not to think about the oily remnants of countless meals that accumulated. I tried not to think about how bacteria multiples every half an hour, and it has been many, many, half an hours. I tried not to think about coalition of refuse that was left to fester for days upon days. I tried not to think about that fact that my fingers were now raking through the very heart of it. I tried not to notice how the repulsive substance was digging under my fingernails, threatening to invade my body and contaminate me from the inside out. I tried not to think about these things, but dread gripped my insides even tighter. Still, through sheer willpower alone, I managed to get through it. I scrubbed and cleaned, and the monstrosity slowly began to shrink. I thought to myself, I have to do this… so I can’t say it was for God. It was my decision that brought me here. But I don’t have to do a good job- so I can still choose to give it my very best, as if doing it for God.
A sudden stab of pain shot through my right ankle. But it was alright, because I was almost done with cleaning the kitchen. And in moments, I would have pace.

 ~12 hours ago: ~6:00 PM
Lying flat on my back, I stared up at the stairs and ceiling of UIC’s gym. My ankle was in miserable pain, but I was more worried about the possibility of permanent damage than the present pain or inhibition. I continued to lay there alone with ice on my ankle, lamenting my present condition. Suddenly, a familiar face descended upon the stairs, and immediately my heart and face lit up. Alyson and her friends happened to be at the gym at the same time, and were just getting out. I got to meet her friends Melody and Sherry and talk to them for a bit. After they left, I decided to go too and hopped towards the exit on one leg. Outside, Melody took compassion on me and offered to escort me back to my apartment. In the process, I got to meet two more awesome new people, Dexter (Alyson’s cousin) and James. It was really was so kind of them to take me back, and I’m so glad I got to know everyone. Making new friends is definitely one of my simple joys in life.

~10 hours ago: ~8:00 PM
I put down a pan of beautiful golden-brown fried rice. Unfortunately, as with many other times in life, looks can be deceiving. For instance, I had not used a single drop of soy sauce; instead, the brown color was due to burnt rice and ashes that mixed in with the rice. My rice cooker pot had long been absorbed in the horrid mound of dishes, so I attempted to cook rice with a pot instead. What I ended up with was a barely edible lump of food and two new additions to our growing pile of dishes. No worries though, because it was Jin’s turn to do the dishes, and nothing on earth could change that.

~8 hours ago: ~10:00 PM
Jin had come home, and we watched dramas together for a little bit. I was bored and felt like playing with people and my ankle was healed enough so we went to play poker with Matt Yap, John Kim, and a bunch of other people. Three hours and -10 dollars later, and feeling very dissatisfied, we left and went to Mr. Greek’s. As we ate, my unfulfilled impulse to have fun on Friday surfaced and our conversation turned towards hanging out. At that time, for some reason, I had really wanted to chill with Alyson and everyone who had been so kind to me earlier that day. But it was 2AM and I didn’t want to be the one to bother people, so I asked Jin to do it instead.
“Hey Jin, can you call Alyson and see if she wants to hang out?”
“Yeah, let’s watch a movie or something. Rock-paper-scissors to see who calls her?”
“OK!!”
“What? No!! Just kidding! You call her!”
“Why?? You suggested it! It’s only fair! Fine, fine, how about this- we’ll rock-paper-scissors to see who calls her, and we’ll also rock-paper-scissors to see who does the dishes. I’m giving you a chance out of doing the dishes, I think that’s pretty generous.”

Jin ponders this for a moment, then decides to capitalize on my weakness and says,
“Ok, here’s my proposal- I’ll call her if you do the dishes.”

~4 hours ago: ~3:00 AM
I didn’t know what they talked about on the phone, but I found myself rolling over to Walgreens for a Redbox rental and then going back to our apartment to change and “dress nicely” before going over to JST. Once there, we met up with Alyson, Sherry, Melody, Dexter, James, and Elizabeth, who all seemed partied out. Still, we hung out for a bit and ended up watching 27 Dresses together on Sherry’s tiny laptop. Yay…

Now: 7:30 AM
I’m so tired. It was all worth it; …although now that I think about it, it would’ve been a really bad beat on my end if she hadn’t picked up.

For a few days now, my iPod has been lost. It was really really bothering me for a while. I had just come to terms with it (after lots of praying) when today, I was reunited with my iPod once again.  It turns out it was in Jin's room the whole time, even though he said he had returned it to me. Anyway, I'm just so glad and so relieved to get it back. I don't really know how to describe it in words, but I guess it made me think about the parable of the lost coin and how that parable is so much more alive now.

Yesterday I read the book of Malachi during my devotionals. That means yesterday marks the day that I finally finished reading the entire Bible, straight through!   It's been on my Things-To-Do-Before-I-Die list for a while, and I'm so glad I finished this before dying. I first started my endevor during my freshman year when my discipler at the time, Ash, encouraged me to read the Bible more. I started reading through the New Testament first, then the Old Testament. It took me four years, but I've finally accomplished my goal. Now I can take my sweet time going slowly and in depth when I read during my quiet times, and I can read any part of the Bible I please.

 

Yesterday I went to work out with Jin, Sarah, and Emily. Near the end of our workout, we just happend upon the first Friday Night Live of the school year, which was held at the gym. Sarah had gone back, but me, Emily, and Jin hung out and had lots of fun swing dancing, smuggling tea, and taking pictures in a photobooth. It was my first time in a photobooth but sadly, I lost the pictures.  On the bright side, it was also my first time getting a free message and that was amazing. I was thinking how I would like to learn professional message techniques some day, because I would really like the ability to help people relax and enjoy themselves.
After Friday Night Live, we met up with Huge, dropped off the smuggled goods in our appartment, and stopped by Huge's appartment to pick out a DVD. Then we went to Emily's ballin' place on Michigan Avenue to chill and watch the first part of Transformers. Fun times...

Yesterday I had the chance to meet up with Poofy after barely seeing her all summer. We walked all the way from Courtyard dorms to Kirstoff's Coffee Shop on 18th street because Poofy forgot her uPass and was too lazy to go back up the stairs and get it. But it was such a blessing time to talk, smile, and laugh together as we caught up. I was pretty down about a number of things lately, but she was able to encourage me the most and remind me of what really matters. Words can not express my feelings...

...but I'm still gonna try. Hrm. I haven't written a poem since the 7th grade. It's not a very good poem but I put all my feelings behind it as I wrote it.