I saw The Dark Knight the other day. It was the most freaking amazing movie I've ever seen in theatres before. I honestly didn't think I was in the mood for a Batman action movie, but it definitly got me in the mood. Now I'll never be able to watch another movie again, because nothing will live up to The Dark Knight.

"Maybe....
              ....someday we'll write a "teen" love story with a happy ending."

A quote from my own Xanga, on March 1st. An amazing love story that can move your heart and make you laugh and cry is quite amazing... but I wonder how many tries it takes to write such a perfect story? And what about all the other attempts; all of the "love stories" that were started but never finished, because it didn't turn out to be the perfect love story? A writer starts writing a love story, hoping that this would turn out to be the perfect story that encapsulates all the bitter sweet themes that come with life. The Author develops the main character; from his heart to his personality and his looks, The Author knows everything about him and what's best for him. Additional characters are placed in the story, and so is a female lead. The Author advances the plot by placing a few trials in it, because no story without conflict is worth listening to. However, what if the main chracter doesn't respond in the way The Author intended him to? Maybe the character thinks he's the author of the story, when he's only the main character of the story. What if he screws up? Maybe the main chracter has made such a mess of things that The Author has to start all over. And over. And over again. What about all those unfinished stories, all those hearts that were broken because the main chracter thought he could write his own story?

*sigh*
Maybe it's time I realized that I'm not The Author, and I can never write the kind of story that I want to see. The main character will never find the female lead or know what to do just by looking at all the other characters in the story; he must look to The Author to know his role in the perfect love story.

I had the craziest dream last night. In my dream, I was with Doza, Sophia, and Jack (Sophia's ex). She was introducing us, and it turned out that he was the jealous type. I was like "Oh, so you're Sophia's ex-boyfriend? It's nice to finally meet you!" and he was like "What do you mean, ex?! We're still together, she just doesn't know it." So I was getting agitated and said "Well, it kinda doesn't work if she doesn't think so." From that, tension was building and he said something back, but I could tell Sophia was getting nervous and didn't want us to fight so I tried to change the subject and be peaceful/respectful (in my dream he was older) by saying "Hey, gorgor [older brother], can you show me how to do this physics problem?" He showed me how to do it, but then later he said something about Sophia and I was like ok I can't let that slide! So we got into a huge fight. We ended up getting out of there, but he was the scary/gangster kind of person, so he sent four of his boys after me. In my dream, I fought them and killed two of them and I was like oh my gosh I just killed someone! There's no turning back now... I remember thinking that I trusted the police force's incompetance more than their competance so I decided to run and live as an outlaw instead of calling the cops and explaining that it was self defense. So from that, we started this crazy gangster-war type thing. I was with Doza and Sophia again, and one of his minions came in with a shot gun and just started shooting randomly. I was really scared and thought oh crap I'm really gonna die but at the same time I was also even more scared for Sophia, so I covered her so she wouldn't be shot. She was so tiny that there was more room so I was like "Doza come over here so I can cover you too!" The whole time the guy was spraying random shotgun pelts everywhere. I remember thinking oh man I'm gonna die... or I'll be horribly disfigured or I'll lose a limb. This sucks... But somehow I got in control of the situation again, and ended up fighting the guy and killing him by twisting his neck. But I was still freaked out because someone had called the cops, and I was trying to remember if I'd wiped off the finger prints, etc. I remember I was being questioned and I was really freaked out, but somehow they let me go. I thought this will never end, unless I end it... I don't want to, but I have no other choice... Then I woke up.

So as I was reading the Bible, I had an epiphany. I now have another ambition I want to pursue when I grow up: I want to create a (good) massive multiplayer online role playing game based on the Old Testament of the Bible. It shouldn’t be too difficult to make a good game; there are common elements to all addictive MMORPGs, and as long as I make sure those elements are there, I should be good. Anyways I’m guessing that no one has ever created a fun game based on the stories from the Bible probably for two reasons. First, maybe there aren’t many Christian video game designers out there, or at least not enough people who have the desire to make a game based on the Bible. Secondly, it would probably be a very difficult task to organized, seeing how the Bible, even just the OT, covers such a great span of time and cultures. Furthermore, the stories of characters, even ones as outstanding as David’s or Joshua’s, do not go into enough detail to create an in depth video game. Hopefully, there’s more information in The Book of Jashar (Numbers 10:13, 2 Samuel 1:18) or the book of the annals of the kings of Israel (1 Kings 14:19) but I’ve never read them and they might not exist anymore.   -_-‘
So the biggest problem seems to lie in the balance between having enough material for the characters and staying true to the bible story without making adventures and stuff up for them to go through. Additional confusion might arise when different players as different characters from different stories and timelines interact with each other.
Anyways, having the creative energy to solve those difficulties is key to a successful game, I believe. And I have just the inspiration.
The game will be saturated into different eras. I would want to choose to divide the game into these timelines, using major biblical milestones, cultural revolutions, or paradigm shifts to decide those markers. For example, I might have one era be the time of Solomon’s temple, and another era after that during the prophets, etc. The game will be organized so players can choose to start the game as any of the famous characters from the Bible (David, Moses, etc.). The beginning of the game will be simultaneously linear as well as non-linear. Players are introduced to their character and the setting and start out in the era that their character belongs in. They have the option of progressing the game by following very linear quests that propel them through their storylines: David’s first quest might be to protect the sheep from a boss mob like a lion and a bear, and another one might be Goliath. At the same time, players will have the option of not pursuing the storyline right away and just leveling up or exploring their era and checking out the cities, shops, etc. To keep the game organized, players will be confined to their own era until they fully complete their storyline, at which point they are then “freed” to travel through time to explore the rest of the biblical world. Traveling through time to explore different eras and picking up new items, weapons, and armor, or even helping other players won’t affect that player’s storyline, but they can still do it. I think this is why it has to be an online RPG- ultimately, those have no end, and really, no purpose… but they’re fun and often addicting none the less; being able to interact with other players, exploring the ancient world, and reaching higher levels. Imagine playing a game where you can watch FMVs of the scene when David spies on Bathsheba, or explore a perfect digital portrayal of the temple of Solomon! Mmm… eye candy. (exploring Solmon’s temple, that is- not David being a peeping pervert. ) The game will emphasize exploration and discovery of ancient times, beautiful FMVs, rich storylines, and stress accuracy in not only the storylines but also in the portrayal of the cultures, traditions, and ancient life. City and people names in the bible are so hard to remember, but I bet it’d be fun and easy if it were cities in a game and NPCs you can interact with! Imagine going to Lebanon to buy some cedars to trade for onyx so that you can make an ephod. I have lots more random ideas too:
NPC’s might include Job, Solomon, etc.
There will be plenty of cities to explore, friendly and non-friendly, from the Ammonites to Damascus.
There can be wars that you can join with other characters to fight against.
I even have an idea FMV that starts the game: “In the beginning…”
Players will be customizable, yet specialized- Moses might have “spells” like parting the sea and sending plagues, while David has warrior-type abilities.
Anyways, I hope no one googles this and steals my ideas! I’m so glad I had this epiphany while doing my devos.
…Then again, maybe it wasn’t an epiphany, but just me being ADD as usual.     -_-‘
But with that, there are now two things I want to invent in life: this video game, and sun glasses contacts.

First week of summer school, completed. One down, seven to go.   I was having some serious doubts about Chem 114 because of bad experiences with Hammerich in Chem 112 freshman year... and it's been so long since I've taken a chemistry course. From the sound of her last name, and from the horrible things everyone was saying about her, I expected Professor Balch to be this mean, pale, baggy, libarian-esqu, spectical-sporting old lady, but she's actually not. She actually seems relatively young and healthy, and her voice and style of presentation is energetic. She even outlines her lectures and explains things pretty well (even though she goes fast and her handwriting is hard to read). I was afraid that she'd yell at me for not knowing simple things that I should have learned from Chem 112, but when I asked for help after class she was actually really nice, smiley, and encouraging. She said that I asked really good questions and she's glad to see that because it means I'm really thinking about it. Professor Balch even offered to give me some extra problems to overcome my "slight disadvantage" of not knowing Chem 112.
Yay, more homework problems. I heart studying.
On another note, fatty foods taste disgusting. Bacon is made of pigs' butts, and any steak that's not extra lean is infected with mad cows' disease.

The difference between brainwashing and self-motivation is personal choice.

Yesterday night I was so excited for school that I couldn't sleep. Maybe I should've used the opportunity to get some studying done... because today I ended up doing my lab report and homework last minute. Reguardless, my second lab turned out pretty good.    My lab partner did most of the work this time, but I was able to follow along, understand what was going on, and help with some of the calculations. She's a pretty good person, but I don't like that for some reason she reminds me of high school... and... myself, back then. Anyways.... Darn, I couldn't sleep last night and now I'm too tired to put serious effort into studying. But I must try anyways, because I need just 2 more miracles... An A in Chem 114, and one more straight A's fall semester, and I'd be really really content.

So here it is... my summer schedule. No more being wastefull of my time on earth. From now on, I'll work hard, work out hard, and study all the time.

OwWww... my fingers feel raw.

Today I just watched TV all day, playing the guitar between commercials. Meh... I need to force myself to be more productive somehow. Schedules and bells have ruled my life since elementry school, and even during retreats... Now, without them, I just waste away into a pile of mush, doing nothing productive. I need to give myself some sort of schedule or to-do list, and maybe even get a lunch bell....

aaahal;ak;aslkjfk

I'm such a f***ing idot.

I thought I could be strong and resist... but I was wrong. I wanted to be a shining light... but I'm not.

I'm to ashamed to even worship. Can there be love, grace, and forgiveness even for such a weak, unfaithful, disgrace like myself?

Aim high...
     ...fall hard.

  So last Wednesday, Anth calls me and is like “Hey Kev, you still coming to the retreat?”
Now, originally I had planned on going only if I was able to get a scholarship. Apparently, I got one, but I was never informed due to some miscommunication. So I ended up finding out that I was going to go on an Ambassadors retreat, packing, and leaving to drive there on my own, all within a few hours. Although actually driving there on my own instead of being in a bus did take away some of the allure, it was good to be back at Lake Geneva again. That retreat center has so many memories for me- of Teen Camp, MEIV Fall Retreat freshman year, a few CBCNWS retreats during high school, and numerous other Ambassadors retreats during my early years of college. Lake Geneva is almost as sentimental to me as Cedar Campus now. It was a bit strange to be back in Ambassadors after (seemingly) al this time. Everyone’s younger, and there are a lot of new faces. Even past hurts and rejections… has been forgotten. Anyways, throughout the week, I was in the theology workshop. It was very interesting. It was also a blessing to be reminded of the vitalness of prayer by the daily devotionals that Kensen lead. I think in the end what I appreciated most about the retreat was that it was an opportunity to get away from the slum of life I’ve backslidden into and be poured into a lifestyle of discipline, purpose, and true joyous living. It went from semi-cleaning my room and procrastinating every day, playing video games and slacking off until late hours into the night, and waking up late to waking up early every day, being well fed physically and spiritually, and being sustained socially, emotionally, and physically through fellowship and basketball.

So anyways, I got back home on Sunday. I hope I don’t let myself backslide anymore and actually be somewhat productive, cleaning my room and maybe even getting a little reading done. Actually, I did manage to finish cleaning my room today.

Here it is! My new natural habitat. You can see I have a pretty sweet entertainment system set up.

Zooming in a little closer…

…anyone who plays Final Fantasy VII would realize how sick this is, and why I’ve been missing for so long